Community Corner
Helpful Tips for Parents to Address and Prevent Substance Abuse
In an effort to help parents who missed last week's Medfield Cares About Prevention program, below are helpful tips from guest speaker and Belmont therapist Jon Mattleman, as well as a list of parenting resources.
Editor's note: The following article was written by guest contributor and Medfield resident, Christine McCue, who was involved in the that addressed substance abuse in Medfield.
Top 14 things parents need to know when fighting drug and alcohol use:
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1. Don’t try to be your child’s friend – you need to focus on being the parent. It is also natural for your kids to hate you at times.
2. Remember that developmentally, most kids don’t have the ability to be as resilient as we want them to be.
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3. Find opportunities for quality family time and to get away from this crazy, stressful life. For example, maybe summer can be more about fun, and less about resume-building activities.
4. Make your house a place to escape stress, not another place to feel stressed. The overload kids feel is causing drugs, alcohol and at-risk behaviors to scream back at us.
5. Think about more listening and less talking (and having conversations without consequences). Tip from one parent: When you do talk, try not to lecture and instead tell stories (based on people you might know who suffered from substance abuse) or sharing what you’ve learned from a TV program or newspaper article to get your point across in a non-judgmental way.
6. Try to remember that everything your child does is for a reason, and it is a good reason to them (even if it is not a good reason to you). Ask them to explain their reasoning and rationale, and listen closely.
7. Look at your expectations of your kids. Are they realistic? Can you accept them for who they are? We may want them to behave differently, but often they just want to blend in with their peers.
8. Have a game plan for technology and risk-taking. For example, what is your agreement about viewing their text, Facebook and e-mail messages? Technology provides the oxygen for their risk-taking, so you may need to take it away at times.
9. Understand that a kid’s concept of risk is different than ours. The adolescent brain does not allow them to anticipate the consequences of their risk-taking.
10. Be Bill Belichick! Parents need to be a defensive genius when their kid’s friends are in the house. What’s in the backpack? Are you checking in on them (or falling asleep on the couch)? Are they misusing their cell phones (maybe you can ask them to check their phones at the door)?
11. Control access whenever possible. We must make drinking and drugging hard to do, e.g. when older siblings come home from college or cousins come to visit.
12. Have stamina. This is perhaps the most critical role for parents, and it almost always translates into healthy relationships with their children, and kids having healthy relationships with drugs and alcohol. Never give up hope.
13. Seek out others for help and advice. Get to know the parents of your child’s friends and talk with them regularly. You will be amazed at what you will learn. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help for you and/or your children if needed. Kids will often listen to good advice from other adults who they respect.
14. Never forget that your job as a parent is to keep your kids safe.
Mattleman encourages parents to contact him for free advice. To learn more, go to http://jonmattleman.com.
Medfield families can also tap into the free and confidential services offered by Medfield Youth Outreach, which provides information and referrals, counseling, prevention activities, and more. It can be reached at (508) 359-7121 or (508) 359-8505, ext. 026, or by e-mail: medfieldyouthoutreach@yahoo.com.
Other resources (click the links):
7 Ways to Protect Your Teen from Alcohol and Other Drugs
Preparing Your Young Children for a Healthy, Drug-Free Future
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University – research initiatives, teen attitude surveys, parenting resources, and national prevention campaigns www.casacolumbia.org
The National Institute on Drug Abuse – research, info for youth, parents, teachers, mental health professionals, etc.
Parents the Anti-drug - resources, parenting advice, drug information
Parent Information Center (at Drug Test Your Teen) – (Note: sharing this site is not meant to advocate for parent drug testing, but the page of parent tips does a great job of summarizing a lot of credible prevention information on the Internet, including encouraging family dinners, being home after school, monitoring technology, and learning effective parent-child communications strategies.)
Talklisten.org - information on mental health & navigating the mental health system. Resources for teens, parents or for others who are concerned about a young person; free publications.
The Partnership at Drug Free.org – a wealth of information for parents on preventing and addressing drug and alcohol use. It also offers parents a free, toll-free helpline: 1-855-DRUGFREE.
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