State Regulators Say You Can’t Eat That!

I read, recently, that state regulators are looking into banning the sale of high-caloric snacks in Massachusetts public schools. More troubling than the bulging waistlines of our younger generation, is the fact that, apparently, given the free will to make their own choices, they’ve fallen down on the job. Let’s see, “should I go for the tasty vending machine sports drink or the celery juice?”. Umm, that’s a tough one.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for healthy eating, but it troubles me that our state government has apparently decided that, left to our own devices, we, the citizenry of the Commonwealth, where the first shots of the American Revolution sounded, are incapable of making the right choices. Therefore, they've decided to make them for us.

This wouldn't be the first time. Remember all the hubbub about mandatory car insurance? Yes, Virginia, there once was a time when you actually didn’t have to be insured in order to cruise the lanes on North Street. But our legislators decided that if we were not wise enough to take preventative action and buy the darn policies, they would make that decision for us.

Smoking is bad. I won’t argue with you on that point. Our government agrees; “you should not smoke." Should you decide to smoke, “we will make it very expensive,” until you decide, out of financial necessity, not to smoke. There’s a hefty Federal tax on tobacco, a hefty State tax on tobacco and just so you get the point, another tax on your over-the-counter purchase of tobacco. Check out the pricing of a pack of cigarettes at Cumberland Farms. Depending on brand choice, it's in the $8 vicinity … plus tax! “Take that, smoker boy!”

In Massachusetts, it’s nearly illegal to be unhealthy. Our lawmakers have been told (by the Insurance Industry, of all people) that we’re in pretty sad shape and that the only way to fix it is to make certain that everybody has health insurance. Never mind that, there’s a huge segment of the population who can’t afford it. Hasn’t anybody on Beacon Hill heard that there’s a recession going on? "Let's see, should I eat this week or send in that premium?"

Of course, the promise of a healthy populace is not only intriguing to your average politician, but it also creates great slogans for re-election campaigns. “A chicken in every pot!” … oops, sorry, wrong decade. “Healthy 'till the day you expire!” There, that’s better.

So, where do we go from here? Who’s lifestyle will we disrupt tomorrow? Can we fight back? Sure we can.

The state has tried to levy an additional tax on alcohol sales, only to be beaten back by voters who still harbor vague memories of prohibition, no doubt recalled through re-runs of “The Untouchables” on TV. Thoughts of another Robert Stack hanging a “closed” sign on liquor establishments and busting kegs of beer at Palumbo Liquors, while barking orders in a grim monotone, were apparently too much to take. But you know they’ll try again, right?

Voters managed to pull a rabbit out of a hat by loosening the laws on marijuana possession, making the point that "one toke does not a hardened criminal make," especially if you don't inhale (thanks Mr. Clinton, for that loophole). It was a hard-won victory, tempered by the fact that “sure you can smoke it, but it’s still illegal to buy it or sell it.” Of course, the next logical step, save repealing the law altogether, is for the state to (you’re ahead of me on this, right?) … tax it out of existence.

As for the Twinkies crisis in our schools, I say, borrowing a phrase from John, Paul, George and Ringo, “Let it Be.” Kids will find a way to eat junk food, no matter what. Heck, adults will find a way … even if it means chomping on a Snickers bar in a pre-determined “junk food consumption point” outside of the building. No, wait, that’s smoking.

What comes after the vending machines have been stocked with carrot sticks and granola and students still find a way to smuggle Hershey Bars, purchased by the dozen at , into the hallways? What if they get their “junk food fix” off campus, before the beginning of the school day? Well, there’s always breathalyzers, I suppose; reset to detect even the faintest trace of Doritos on the breaths of those pesky dietary rebellious teenagers.

The point is, yes we want our children to make healthy choices, but we also want our children to have the freedom to make their decisions without the shadow of Big Government looming large over every facet of their lives. In the Land Of the Free, let’s maintain that freedom and in the Home of the Brave, let’s be brave enough to trust that our children are smarter than we give them credit for, or at least smarter than their puffing, drinking, non-insured elders.